Prisoner Storage Advances

10:15 AM -- Holland, the land of tulips, windmills, and coffee shops has turned to technology to solve its prison problems in the way that, well, only the Dutch can. Apparently, authorities in the Netherlands have just opened a high-tech Big Brother” prison.

Cons will now have the pleasure of organizing their busy schedules via touch-screen monitors -- hmmm, let me think, shall I sew some mailbags today or maybe stroll around the exercise yard a thousand times? Decisions, decisions...

Better still, special, sound-based “emotion recognition” software will alert guards when there is a ruckus. (Riots, as we all know, are often conducted in near silence.)

Sound far fetched? See for yourself.

Still, I suppose it beats patrolling the shower block at night.— James “Don’t Drop That Soap” Rogers, Senior Editor, Byte and Switch