Best Top 11 Lists of 2004

7) Duct tape slices of buttered toast to backs of several cats, then drop each cat about 5 feet from the ground. Buttered toast will keep cat from landing on its feet, causing a gentle somersaulting. Connect resulting buttered-cat array to your UPS

6) Build perpetual-motion machine out of three paper clips, a rubber band and a Bic pen cap

5) Interface auxiliary gerbil wheel with uranium pu-36 explosive space modulator using USB 2.0 cable

4) Connect helpdesk phones directly to UPS3) Wire key-chain flashlights in series, run output through inverter and presto!

2) Plug UPS into itself, creating constantly recharging power source

1) Use IT market rebound spin to power generators

With 11%: Top 11 Things that SpongeBob SquarePants Can Teach us About Working in IT

11) What really happens when electricity and water meet

10) Non-color-coordinated clothing isn't necessarily a deterrent to success

9) You don't need a spine to work in IT

8) Soap bubble communication is not secure, unless you're encrypting your bubbles

7) It's OK to run through the server room yelling "Weeeeee!!" at the top of your lungs6) Having six arms and legs doesn't automatically make you more productive

5) Wear squeaky shoes--they drive people nuts

4) Think the Linux penguin and MSN butterfly are annoying? Try living in an underwater pineapple near a squirrel who does karate

3) Never volunteer to capture an Alaskan Bull Worm until you know the actual size of the problem

2) Living in a pineapple is a lot like living in a cubicle1) Life is not always replete with Kafka-esque undertones about the ceaseless futility of continued existence culminating in a final mind-numbing epiphany of despair. Unless you're a Unix admin.

With 9%: Top 11 signs you may be a redneck IT administrator

11) Your spam filter accepts all content referencing the Civil War

10) The server-room door sign prohibits "vittles, tobaccy and 'shine"

9) You tell your staffers not to feel constrained to using only 0s and 1s, " 'cause there's always a place for good ol' No. 2!"8) You're not surprised to discover your child process is also the parent of your other child process

7) You're reluctant to use the term "IP" outside the IT department

6) The gap from your missing tooth is just right for stripping Cat 5 jackets

5) When security asks to see your ID badge, you show your belt buckle

4) Your fire-suppression plan involves beer3) You still have a daisy-wheel printer 'cuz of Daisy Duke

2) You name all your servers with NASCAR numbers ... but the No. 3 server is forever retired (an old P-60)

1) You find Bud Lite cans perfect for RF shielding

LOLHave a IT-related Chuckle you want to share? Spotted some strange tech? Want to contribute to the latest Top 11 List? Drop on by the Last Mile Repository!