Improving the IT Industry's Linguistics

No Lo Comprendo

Despite the IT industry's linguistic enlightenment, not every vendor has come around. A few weeks ago, Network Computing senior technology editor Lori MacVittie was asked to participate in a workshop run by a company we'll call Acme Technology. Her role would be to cut through the marketspeak put out by the vendors attending the meeting--function as the meeting's very own Bullfighter.

Acme, heal thyself! The following passage was taken from the company's home page:

For nearly a decade, [Acme] has demonstrated its differentiated leadership position and value proposition as an agile and responsive organization. Unique to our formation is the ability to marshal superior technical acumen, business leadership and program management in a flexible and scalable fashion. [Acme's] consistent application of mature management and repeatable engineering processes, accompanied by hand-selected technical leadership and senior experienced engineering staff, aligns our organization to deliver low-risk solutions that yield measurable results with lucid, innovative outcomes and tangible performance metrics.

Did you say lucid?From Acme's mission statement, I couldn't quite understand what the company does. We just don't speak this way in the very small town I'm originally from, so maybe I would understand it better if I translated it into redneck:

Y'all lisson here. Fo' nearly a decade, [Acme] has demonstrated its diffruntiated lidership posishun an' value proposishun as an agile an' responsive o'ganizashun. Unique t'our fo'mashun is th'ability t'marshal superio' technical acoomen, business lidership an' program management in a flexible an' scalable fashion, as enny fool kin plainly see ...

Ya reckon?

Enough Bull

Beyond cleaning up copy, you could apply Bullfigher in other ways:• Incorporate it into e-mail clients, to sort messages based upon a bull barometer.

• Incorporate it into browsers, so that a Bull Index splashes up at the top of every Web page visited.

• Combine the capabilities of a search engine and a Bull Index. The most relevant and most understandable information will be at your fingertips.

• Bullfigher could even be retrofitted for a site like Google's Language Tools translator or AltaVista's Babel Fish, which translate Web pages into another language--in this case, back to basic English.

At Network Computing, we aim to provide clear language about technology, but I'm sure many of you will point out where we've failed. Bring it on!Mike Lee is Network Computing's editor. Write to him at [email protected].