Mis-Predictions for '05

5) Because of a spike in viruses and Trojan horses, the Commodore 64 is named the recommended desktop--the Commodore 128 is reserved for management use only

4) Seattle Seahawks owner Paul Allen announces plans to "reboot" the team at season's end: "We tried patching, but that just seemed to deepen the malaise"

3) The mouse input device is replaced by the wireless hamster, implanted with directional sensors

2) Dangerous Firefox Trojan eats IE 5+ using Pac Man simulation1) After Microsoft buys everything, Steve Ballmer notices that Bill's memo said "Buy SAP," not "Buy ASAP"

Special thanks to Sherrill Crater, Mark Dayton, Lance Dodd, Ken Graham, Todd Howard, Joe Jackson, Gregory Mamayek, Steve Matheson, Jeffrey W. Mortenson, John Patrick and Bob Vandenberg for their submissions.

What if vendors were not the benevolent entities we know and love, but instead were evil cyborgs? What if their CEOs were also machines? Evidently, the Cyborg Name Generator project knows their true, synthetic natures.

Microsoft: Mechanical Intelligent Construct Responsible for Observation/Synthetic Organism Fabricated for Troubleshooting

Gates (Bill): General Android Trained for Exploration and Sabotage

Apple: Android Programmed for Peacekeeping and Logical Exploration

Jobs (Steve): Judge Optimized for Battle and Sabotage

Oracle: Obedient Robotic Android Calibrated for Logical Exploration

Ellison (Larry): Electronic Lifelike Lifeform Intended for Sabotage and Online NullificationNo, we didn't just make these up. Try it yourself!

For all those apologists who maintain that Web services are "simple," we're pleased to bring you the following blooper--compliments of Target.com, which unwittingly advertised marijuana for only $25.25!

There was no real dope, of course-- Target.com's site simply listed an incomplete entry for an Amazon.com book titled Marijuana, by Sandra Lee Smith.

Thanks to kalsey.com for finding this gem.

LOL

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