Our Favorite Sig Files

Our Favorites

Submitted by David Young
You had mail, but the super-user read it, and deleted it!
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Submitted by Rick King
Average of 60 bytes x 123,000 emails = over 7 meg wasted onsig lines per day...
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Submitted by Robert Wheeler

The box said Windows 2000 or better,So I got a Mac.
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Submitted by Steven A. Gilroy
> HELO. My $name is sendmail. You A"kill -9" my parentprocess. Prepare to vi.
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Submitted by Kevin A Ryan
Warning, Textual Content
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Submitted by James Burchell

Eschew obfuscation.

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Submitted by Eric Cohan
"We have enough youth, what we need is a fountain ofsmart."

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Submitted by Adam Boness
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who'scovering mistakes. Real boats rock." - Frank Herbert, "Chapterhouse:Dune"

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Submitted by Barry Moss
_/o_ M$

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Submitted by David G. Miller

Quietly implementing RFC 1925 wherever I go.
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Submitted by Vicki Ramirez
Quote of the day: The parts of the system you can hit witha hammer are called hardware; those program instructions you can onlycurse at are called software.
Anonymous

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Submitted by Connor Durflinger
IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of theindividual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that isconfidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons withlow self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. Ifyou are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution orcopying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly orimplicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless theword absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere otherthan in this warning, it does not have any legal or no grammatical useand may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of thisemail, although the terrier next door is living on borrowed time, let metell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will begratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by readingthis warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and yourcomputer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If youhave received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and eggwhites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.

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Submitted by Paul Wujek

There are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary,and those who don't.

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Submitted by Sy Bensky
* * * Privileged and Confidential * * *
Delete before reading!

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Submitted by Sy Bensky
W indows
I nvariably
N ever

D oes
O perate
W ith
S ecurity
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Submitted by Eric Allen
-E
KPkps lWu ECSM-++ m3 CEP B0-x Om LM ScI++ T--- A5 H6o b6 D0

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Submitted by Gene LeDuc

There are three kinds of people in the world: Those who can count, andthose who can't.

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Submitted by Chris Richards
Bubba of Borg - "Y'all's fixin' ta be assimilated"

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Submitted by Mark Nelson
"There are 10 types of people in the world; those thatunderstand binary and those that don't"

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Submitted by Rod Carty
For every person with a spark of genius, there are ahundred with ignition trouble. -- Author Unknown
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Submitted by Robert Wheeler

The box said Windows 2000 or better,So I got a Mac.

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Submitted by Ken Hopkins
"Insofar as manifestations of functional efficiencies areagreed by any and all concerned parties to be imperceivable, and are sostipulated, it is incumbent upon said heretofore mentioned parties toexercise the deferment of otherwise pertinent maintenance procedures."

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Submitted by Eric Kimminau
I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keepup.

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Submitted by John Basso
Favorite Oxymoron - Microsoft Works

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Submitted by Don Vincent

-- "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" --Benjamin Franklin
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Submitted by Kevin A Ryan
Warning, Textual Content

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Submitted by James Burchell
eschew obfuscation.

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Submitted by Douglas Rockney
There are 10 types of people - those who understand binary,and those who don't.

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Submitted by Nick Nielsen

As a (high school level) teacher of both IT applicationsand computer repair and as a desktop support tech in a past life, I findthat the following applies to both students and end users: "You can feed 'em information but you can't make 'em think"

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Submitted by Lonnie Heston
No man has a "complete" set of tools.
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Submitted by Chip Cleveland
"I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which,when looked at in the right way, did not become still more complicated."

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Submitted by Rick King
Average of 60 bytes x 123,000 emails = over 7 meg wasted onsig lines per day...

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Submitted by Stan Slaughter

Always be sure to check your work any omissions.

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Submitted by Sam Farris
"Dilbert" is a documentary

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Submitted by George Thomas
Infinity Broadcast Engineering:When a new day breaks, we fix it!
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Submitted by Jesse Benton
Now that upgrades my floppy to a hard drive!

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Submitted by J Patrick Warner

Thou shalt not send me any thing which says unto thee,"send this to all thou knowest." Neither shalt thou send me any spam,lest I smite thee.

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Submitted by Jim Sherburne
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; foolstalk because they have to say something" - Plato

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Submitted by Rod Dirk
In theory there is no difference between theory andpractice. In practice there is.
.... Yogi Berra

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Submitted by Rod Dirk
If only Bill Gates had a nickel for everytime Window'scrashed.

On wait! .... he does!
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Submitted by Rod Dirk
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance ofgetting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
- Andy Rooney

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Submitted by Rod Dirk
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of theprecipitate. - Steve Wright

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Submitted by Anthony Post

CONSULTING...
If your not part of the solution, There's good money to be made inprolonging the problem.

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Submitted by Anthony Post
Engineers...
You know you're an engineer if you have no life & can prove itmathematically.

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Submitted by Rich Gilson
How do you want to crash today?
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Submitted by Mike Badough

"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energymerely to be normal."
- Albert Camus

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Submitted by J.W. Breeden
"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean
"Mr. Worf, scan that ship." "Aye, Captain... 300 DPI?
"Today's subliminal thought is:"

Another megabytes the dust.
BREAKFAST.COM halted... cereal port not responding!
Honey, I Formatted the Kid!
Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than viceversa.
My computer NEVER cras

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Submitted by Mark Jass

Seen on Slashdot.org:"Member of Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force 1990-1951."

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Submitted by Eric Werme
"Engineers are unreasonable people." -- NH Judge John Korbey
Judge Korbey muttered this under his breath ata meeting forming NH's new Judicial Conduct Commissionto replace the Judicial Conduct Committee. Hewas referring to a subcommittee meeting with bothlawyers and engineers, and the engineers thoughtthat "respond promptly" was to vague. Yes,engineers are more precise than the law!

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Submitted by Will Snyder
Micro$oft Windows XP: Where are you going to be hacked fromtoday?

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Submitted by Frank Scafidi
My that's a lovely dress you're wearing Mrs. Cleaver.
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Submitted by David Young
USER ERROR: replace user and press any key to continue.

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Submitted by David Young
You had mail, but the super-user read it, and deleted it!

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Submitted by David Young
FUBAR, LART, BOFH Certified

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Submitted by Steven A. Gilroy

> HELO. My $name is sendmail. You A"kill -9" my parentprocess. Prepare to vi.

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Submitted by Bryan Loveless
Using Microsoft Products is like holding a wolf by it'sears. We don't like it, but we don't dare let go.
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Submitted by Jim Smith
There are 3 kinds of people in the world: those who cancount, and those who can't.

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Submitted by Charlie Westerfield
Black holes are where God divided by zero.

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Submitted by Wil Dobson

<% Server.Execute("Blue_Screen_Of_Death") %>
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Submitted by Larry Gosser
Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergencyon my part.

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Submitted by Patrick McCloskey
Mac OSX - it's Linux in 10 years, today!