Last Mile: Bye-Bye, Vendor Guy!

11) Sorry, I have to appear at the Michael Jackson trial

10) Hey, my Spidey-sense is tingling! The server's in trouble

9) Ooh! There's a new Family Guy on Fox

8) Wait a minute ... this ain't the Hooters convention?

7) Stop! I'm reading the book and don't want to spoil the ending6) I have a run in my stocking (and you're a guy)

5) I have to pick up my CIO's dry cleaning

4) My rabbi called--he's ready to do my circumcision now

3) It's my dog's birthday, and I have to get him a card

2) You mean this isn't "How to Make a Million in Real Estate"?1) Sorry, but I'm late for your competitor's presentation

Special thanks to Steven Bruhn, Craig Daniel, Gregory Mamayek, Wayne Maurer, John Wadley, Mike Warloc, Tony West and Doug Whitaker for their creative excuses. We're wondering what these guys tell their bosses when they want to take a day off.

•OK, new rule: If you want to shoot an innocent animal, you must be in the same state as it is. This may sound strange, but 14 states are considering such a law after a Texas company developed a Web site--www.live-shot.com--that lets people hunt, target and shoot live animals using remote-control guns over the Internet. The site is promoting its service as a way to give disabled people a chance to experience the joys of hunting, but we're betting it'll be used more frequently by couch potatoes who don't want to hike too far from the fridge.

Interestingly, the new laws would prevent people from using computers to hunt wildlife out of state, but they don't say anything about wildlife using computers to hunt people. We propose the creation of a new Web site--www.live-slobs.com--that would give disabled deer a chance to enjoy the pleasure of the hunt, too. Pick one off for us, Bambi!

•Need to boost your Wi-Fi signal out in the field? Well, it's time you went to cooking school. Some stir-fry fans in New Zealand have created a Web site that outlines methods for creating working Wi-Fi antennas out of everyday household items--including woks and children's umbrellas--with simple USB Wi-Fi adapters. The group's favorite "dish" is a parabolic stir-fry basket (pictured), which has a long bamboo handle and converts nicely into a handheld antenna. And hey, after you've logged off, you can whip up some kung pao chicken.

LOL

Have a IT-related Chuckle you want to share? Spotted some strange tech? Want to contribute to the latest Top 11 List? Drop on by the Last Mile Repository!